7 Ways You’re Likely Using Your Kids As Pawns

Divorce isn’t easy and neither is co-parenting. You will not always get along with your ex but it is important to always keep the kid’s best interest as your priority.

Some people want to sabotage their ex’s lives and put their kids in the middle, using them as pawns.

Here are some things to look out for that may mean you are using your kids as pawns.

1. You blame your kids’ mother or father by using the word “your” with disdain.

Parents who like to use their kids as pawns likely say things to their children like, “Oh your mother said that, did she?” Or, “Your father never does X or Y.”

That possessive pronoun “your” suggests anger and animosity and every time you let a sentence like that the child is full of resentment and guilt because it is their parent you’re talking about!

When you say “Your mother/father really messed up again,” your child is taking on your anger at your ex as if it’s his or her fault. Watch what you say about your ex because you could be damaging your children’s self-esteem and stability, but you’re also jeopardizing your future relationship with your child.

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